Children’s Clothes Say The Darnedest Things

Do you have a tee shirt with a logo on it?  Perhaps it says “Harley Davidson”,  “Chevy”, “Bud Light”, or “Denver Broncos”?  Or maybe it doesn’t have a logo; maybe it has some kind of message whether cute or serious.  When I was a kid, they had shirt shops in the mall where you could pick out the color shirt and the press-on transfer you wanted.  (Now days, people just get the tattoo, but in those days we got tee shirts with images and messages on them.)  I had one that said, “U toucha da shirt… I breaka U face!”.  But my best friend had one that said, “I’m with stupid”.  (Wonder if he was trying to tell me something….)

Well, I can’t believe I am writing THIS entry on THIS blog.  It seems waaaaaaaay out of range for the kind and style of content I usually publish.  But it is related in a round about way.  This is the kind of fun I have with HOMELESS people – in this case homeless children.  Perhaps I am just getting a bit crazy from all the diaper changes!

Here’s the thing:  Since we started taking in Foster Kids here at the Fat Beggars Prophetic Home for Orphans and Strays, I have had to learn a lot about child care – especially for infants.  And it has been good.  Fun, really.  I am having a blast!  I am learning that when you get hungry, you cry a lot.  I am learning that not only do you crap yourself, you cry once you’ve done it, and then it’s my job to clean you up!  I am learning that once you eat, you barf a lot!  I won’t even mention bath time.  Yeah!  I am having more fun than you can believe!!!  And I am noticing that all the baby clothes have some kind of message on them.  Normally its pretty cute – not always my personal taste, but cute is the idea.

Baby Agent N has one little outfit that looks like a Mickey Mouse tuxedo.  It is one of my favorites.  The kid really pops in it.  He wore one yesterday that said, “I woke up this Awesome”.  Baby Agent B wore a little headband yesterday that looked like birthday cake sprinkles.  She could have been the decoration for the party.  And really, there is a pile of these things that reaches to the sky.

But most of the little messages are not quite my idea of cute, or maybe I think its cute, but does not match this kid… etc….  And this has me thinking:  What message would I put on a little garment if I could?

I have been dreaming up some really funny ideas.  Here are a few…

“My Diaper is Packing Heat, and I Ain’t Afraid to Use It!” 

“I Didn’t Do It; It Wasn’t Me!”

“Pull My Finger”

“Don’t Be Fooled By My Innocent Smile: I Can Hurl Barf Up to 3 Feet Away!”

“If You Are Close Enough To Read This Shirt, You Are Standing In My Barf Zone!”

Anyway, I started thinking that if I asked my readers, you might offer some funny ideas for printing on baby clothes.  Please feel free to leave your ideas in the comments.  I would love to hear from you.

I need the laughs.

One comment

  1. skinnyandsingle · September 19, 2016

    My kid had one it said, out of the mouths of babes comes cereal. It doesn’t fit him anymore though

    Liked by 1 person

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