I Think She Loves Me

Among the children to make their way into (or through) The Fat Beggars Home for Widows, Orphans, and Sojourners, our most recent addition is a five month old little girl I will call Special Agent Sassafras.

Since she is a foster child (not to mention a secret agent in the secret-agent-for-Jesus network) I cannot reveal her identity, in fact I can barely even describe her.  However, I will say that she has lived in this home for all her short life, and she doesn’t know any other parents besides us.

She really can’t DO anything for me.  She cannot sit herself up, feed herself, take herself to the bathroom.  She depends on me (us) for every little thing.  EVERY LITTLE THING.  After all, she is only five months old.  You can’t expect a five month old to do anything for themselves or others.  She needs help with everything, and she cannot even ask for it.

But that’s not to say she can’t communicate.

I spend hours with her every day.  I feed her, hold her, bathe her, play with her, sing to her, change her, and all the little things that make up her day.

And she tells me that she loves me, I think.

I mean… when I walk in the room and she hears my voice, she squawks or giggles and wiggles.  She cranes her neck to see me.  She smiles, and her eyes follow all my moves.

Yeah.  I think she loves me.

I feel valued and celebrated every time I encounter her.

She does nothing for me.  Nothing.  Except, I think, she loves me.  And for her, I will do anything.

This humble, little, homeless person comes into my life, and she is like Jesus to me – showing me love and calling out the best in me from depths I didn’t know was even there.  I am loved with the purest, most innocent love I ever knew, and I return it to her for all I am worth.


I think she loves me.


  1. Patrizia Blondett Veen · April 13, 2018

    Beautiful, even more so if real”?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Agent X · April 14, 2018


      Oh… yes. She is real.

      Sorry you might think otherwise.

      Everything I write is real – a real story behind it. However I protect identities etc. On a few occasions I might conflate characters, but mostly they are straightforward with the names changed. I have indulged in writing my own parables – which also are real for the most part. The recent parable about the man yelling fire is not really about a fire, it is really about caring for the homeless (or not), but I expect that reality is seething beneath the surface (much like Jesus’s parables). Not that I am as good at parables, but this is my attempt. At any rate, even that, given all the symbolic changes to the nouns, is actually a real story actually.

      Anyway, yes. She is beautiful. But I have to limit what I say about her.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Patrizia Blondett Veen · April 13, 2018

    By the way, I also was in an Orphanage from 2 and half years old to 6. I had a mom but… not married


  3. Debi · April 14, 2018

    Such blessings! ♥

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The Gathering Journal · April 16, 2018

    May God richly bless you and your wife! You guys ARE Jesus, with skin on! -anita

    Liked by 1 person

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