Yeah, we got a new summer series put on by Pastor Bates starting up this June at the First Church of the True Christians. Lots of banners, mailers, radio ads and other promotional material on-line and elsewhere. Should be an exciting series.
Pastor Bates wants us to “Experience Jesus!” with him and his church. The series promises to help you get in touch with your inner child, to know what “true freedom” really is, to realize your best financial potential through tithing as a “child of God in America today”, to see how God has blessed America in the past and continues to bless America today, and as a bonus, he will offer a marriage enrichment seminar which features a raffle drawing that promises to send one lucky couple to Paris, France!
Pastor Bates’s series promises to be an “exciting study in God’s Word” that will develop in you “practical skills for Christian living” WHILE having a good time!
(Pastor Bates hopes to draw crowds through the lean summer months when church attendance generally becomes a lower priority for the masses. There will be Vacation Bible School, a church picnic, a Fourth of July for God-n-Country Christian concert with fireworks to follow, and a huge back-to-school bash at the end of the summer series.)
First Church of the True Christians employs the services of Pastor Bates’s own “Pastor Bates Mega-Church Revival Specialists” marketing firm (which is staffed by no less than seven marketing specialists drawn from elite marketing firms around the nation and a team of product placement engineers).
Pastor Bates has also shrewdly thrown the weight of his church and marketing firm behind Rich Whiteman, the rising star candidate in the Republican Party, running for a seat in the United States House of Representatives after it was suddenly vacated by the elderly Stoney Hart when he fell ill with cardiac complications last Winter.
All in all, it should be a win-win strategy for the pastor, for the politician, the marketing firm, the church, and, of course, Jesus! Please plan to attend First Church of the True Christians this summer where you will find a very uplifting summer series, and where you get to “Experience Jesus!” with us.