After reading a blog post published by a believer(?) expressing an honest, though emotional, outburst – a radical expression of his feelings toward God (by ripping apart his Bible and posting a picture of the mess), I began to reflect a bit more earnestly on my own blogging. I had a visceral reaction to the title: I Hate God. I figure my reaction was intended. It caught my attention. I was arrested… astonished… troubled by it.
Does this blogger really hate God? REALLY???
After further investigation, I took him at his word. Not sure his hate is ongoing, I expect it is an expression of his frustration with God – perhaps a very undisciplined expression. Yet, maybe it’s a passing thing. Maybe not, but maybe so.
What kind of enterprise is hating God? Just how far can you go with that? Where will it get you?
The only positive thing I can imagine about making such a statement is that perhaps you are finally honest and not deluding yourself. Perhaps in God’s grace, coming to terms with your hate for God will get you both in a new place where you can honestly relate with each other.
It is a very vulnerable place to be. Maddeningly vulnerable, in fact. One you cannot sustain indefinitely. Either God will finally give you up to your dishonorable passions and judge against you (think Romans 1) or you will finally cave to his infinite grace and turn to him with all authenticity of heart, having acknowledged that you began relating to him with hate. And this latter option is all the more powerful since you come from the depths of your wayward heart without pretense into God’s mercy.
But it is a vulnerable place to be.
I have no idea that the blogger I encountered makes this move with God. I suspect there is a shock value in writing such a post. It gets attention. And if that is the sum total of the enterprise, then it is just another distraction in a marketplace of ideas. After all, just where does hating God get you? What is the prize for it? If you are genuine about it?
Nevertheless, I find the post inspirational – in that Psalm 88 sense of “inspiration”. I also find it crazy. Yes, crazy – insane – nuts. All of those politically incorrect, shame-filled terms for mental instability.
So much Christian blogging (my own included – often enough) amounts to voicing “shoulds” and “oughts”. Fair enough. There are things we should do… things we ought not do…. Talking about them is part of the job. But blogging like that isn’t very creative or imaginative, I don’t think. Writing can be powerful, and more of that from more people doesn’t inspire me much.
Ultimately hanging on a cross dying is the focal point of all God’s will for his creation. The depths of mystery and power at that point are not reduced to matters of shoulds and oughts. I will not exhaust its mystery or power in a blog post either, but I can open up a new line of thought: it is Jesus’ prophetic dramatization of God coming to be crowned king of his own people. Just saying that opens up new avenues of theological exploration that holds the potential to gravitate your whole imagination. This despite the overwhelming repulsion and repugnance of it!
Come to the foot of the cross and behold God made king of your heart and of all God’s people and ultimately of all creation.
That sounds crazy to me. And vulnerable. Jarring. Stunning. Shameful. Painful, yet joyful. Stripped of pretense.
If I am going to continue blogging, I hope to take readers THERE. And hopefully to minister to the world a cruciform service to a young, Jewish prophet who dares to show us what it looks like when God takes the crown of his creation amid his own people turning out to hate him. And if you are honest, you will find yourself there in that crowd one way or the other.