Do It Yourself Christianity (Prophetic Service Announcement)

Are you tired of waiting on the Lord?  Is Your faith in God helped by the rewards of hard work and conservative investment strategies?  Is your desire for a worship assembly to look like you, vote like you, and/or provide you with the opportunity to network with people in business and industry, giving you a competitive edge in the world of finance and career opportunities?

Then come on down to First Church at the corner of White Privilege Boulevard and The American Way.  The coffee bar opens at 9am.  Contemporary worship service starts at 10 am, followed by a pro-business devo at 11 am, and a brief sermon by our acclaimed Pastor Bates (shouldn’t take more than five minutes).

 

Please stay for our after lunch motivational speaker, and come in the evening for our tax-shelter seminar.

Here at First Church, let Jesus know you are an AMERICAN Christian, and assure yourself a pre-boarding pass in first-class at the Rapture!

2 comments

  1. blessedbethepoor · June 18, 2019

    Short, sweet, and to the point. The American Church today. Reminds me of a book I recently read. Christless Christianity by Michael Horton

    Liked by 1 person

  2. knittingwithheart · June 18, 2019

    Sad sign of the times… gotta keep shining our light for Jesus! 🙁🙏✝️💜 Jackie@KWH

    Like

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