SURVIVAL MODE (4 Weeks In My 2-Week Quarantine)

Uh.. huh huh huh huh huh … uh Beavis.  The movie is already over.  How long will this Apocalypse last?

Huh huh huh huh, yeah yeah… uh.. You said pop her lips fast!

Well… so… now that I am 4 weeks into my two-week quarantine and watching the food lines grow at food banks across the nation, people fleeing NYC, Florida, and NOLA (Texas Troopers meeting them at the state line checking papers), and taking stock of my hoarded supplies, it dawns on me that there isn’t going to be a “bounce back” at all.  We might dig ourselves out of this thing over the course of a couple of years, but go ahead and cancel plans to attend next year’s Super Bowl.

Yeah, we gotta inoculate everybody before we can gather for a ball game, and not only do we not have the inoculation invented yet, but we don’t have the logistics worked out to test it and then administer it to every living person either.  I mean, I think we can do this thing, but it’s gonna take some T…I…M…E.

Meanwhile, people are starting to get HUNGRY.  Not just itching to get out and socialize, but getting HUNGRY.  Not just worried about how to pay the rent and the electric bill, but HUNGRY.  Not just shooting each other in the park over a pair of sneakers, but HUNGRY.  Few people are as dangerous to each other as Americans and hungry people.  Heaven help us if the world is flooded with hungry Americans!

When I was young, I used to spend part of my fantasy life pondering survival in case of catastrophe, whether personal or societal.  Not a lot, okay… but yeah.  I thought about it.

But here’s the thing:  In NONE of my survivalist fantasies (and I am no survivalist nut!*) did I ever dream about keeping three little babies alive with me!


So, as I watch society take the big plunge (as George Carlin said it: Circling The Drain), I go raid the stash of beans and cornbread I got thinking we better get used to eating this stuff.  We may run out of reasonable options soon, and all the pizza, cheesecake, and grilled steaks are going to turn into bologna sandwiches, spam, and beans and rice before we know it.  And my kids are going to reject it!  Until they have a good hard cry or two – or a dozen.

So… in a stroke of genius, I made a plate with beans and cornbread for myself and sat down in front of them to eat it.

And guess what?

Oh boy!  That looks good Pops!  I want some!!!

Yeah… As long as they think they are getting MINE, they like it.

Wonder how long this will last…

Did I call myself genius?

*I’m not saying I ain’t a nut, just not a survivalist nut..


  1. agentdc · April 16, 2020

    Thank you for the post. We hope you are all well. Praying for you and the children and for your wife’s health.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Agent X · April 16, 2020

      Thanx so much for the prayers.

      Praying for yall too….

      Please keep in touch… Dunno when we will see you again, but you are missed.

      God bless…


      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: MAN! THAT’S POOR | Fat Beggars School of Prophets

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