This just in:
False Prophecy Central reporting this morning as of midnight God now says it is okay to go ahead and hate your neighbor.
(Good news for Americans who have been yearning to hate their neighbors for the last five presidential elections!)
Some have broken ranks with Bible, Doctrine, and Christian tradition and began hating neighbors for years already, but now God is not only “allowing” it but endorsing hate. Expert false prophets tell us this is because Democrats have proven intolerable pushing the boundaries of love beyond common sense and good taste. Basically, Democrats just need to be hated. They have become objects of hate so egregious that hate and scorn is all they are good for.
Also, this just in too:
If you are into the health-n-wealth Gospel (which, let’s face it – who’s not? – Am I right???), locking your door, rolling up your window, and looking away from homeless and beggars at street corners is now an acceptable expression of Agape as long as you also own a gun and stand for Second Amendment Rights.
Happy World, y’all!
You’ve remade God in your image, and at least it’s no longer that stupid buy-the-world-a-Coke, feel-good, triumphant, liberal pseudo-theology running amok! It’s us! Us and our rights, Damn it!
Thank You, Jesus! Pass the ammunition.
*This message brought to you by the not-so-good folx at False Prophecy Central.