CHURCH JOKES YOU CAN’T TELL IN CHURCH (I)

(I wanna try a little comic bit for this blog.  I have a few racy jokes about church, about Christians, that are too raunchy for church.  Fortunately, I am kicked out of church, and we ain’t there.  So, here goes round 1.)

A cat burglar broke into a house late one night while the family was away.  With flashlight between his teeth, he made quick work of the stereo hi-fi system when suddenly a voice audibly spoke to him from the shadows of the dark room, “Jesus is watching you.”

Immediately the burglar clicked off the light, stood very, very still sweating, but looking around in the dark for the source but could not find it.  After a moment of silence, he decided his conscience must be catching up with him.  He might should find a new line of work.  But just then he clicked the light back on and went to work on the fine china.

That’s when it happened again.  A voice from the dark declared, “Jesus is watching you.”

He could feel the words tingle up his spine.  He clicked off the light, stood stone cold for several minutes quivering in the dark wondering where that voice was coming from.  It was obvious now, he needed a new line of work.  But he decided to finish the job first.  So, he clicked the light back on and started in on the jewelry.

Then again the voice spoke audibly into the room, “Jesus is watching you.”

“That does it!” exclaimed the burglar.  “Who said that?”  And he shined his light this way and that around the room until it illuminated the birdcage with a small bird swinging back and forth answering, “Isaiah.”

“Isaiah?” asked the burglar.  “What kind of people names their bird Isaiah?”

Just then the bird answered, “The same people who names their Rottweiler Jesus!”

2 comments

  1. harolene · 23 Days Ago

    🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣👍 I’m assuming no one came forward to slap your face 🤪

    Liked by 1 person

  2. blessedbethepoor · 23 Days Ago

    Thanks for the need humor.

    Russell

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s