Disclaimer: this likely is the tamest of my church jokes you can’t tell in church – meaning it’s probably okay with Methodists and a few Presbyterians.)
One Sunday, in the middle of the morning’s sermon, as it dragged on and on and on and on and on, a mother and her young daughter sat quietly on the third row near the front of the congregation as suddenly the girl began feeling ill. She tugged on her mother’s sleeve and whispered, “I think I need to throw up.”
The mother eyed the young girl over. She was turning a couple shades of green, alright. “Can you hold on until the service is done?” she whispered.
The little girl shook her head.
After a moment’s thought, the mother leaned over and whispered to the little girl, “Slip down off your seat, walk down the aisle past the whole congregation, go through the double doors and through the vestibule, out the main doors, down the steps, and then go around to the side of the church building, cross the parking lot, and then find the dumpsters near the bushes. You throw up there. Got it?”
The little girl desperately nodded in agreement.
“Good, then go. Go now, and hurry,” the mother whispered.
The little girl slipped off her seat and disappeared immediately. But almost as quickly, she was back hopping up on her perch next to her mother who now was surprised at how fast it happened and noticing how relieved the child appeared.
The mother leaned over and interrogated in whispered tones, “Did you walk all the way down the aisle and go through the doors, past the vestibule, down the steps outside, cross the parking lot, and find the dumpsters and throw up in the bushes that fast?”
The little girl shook her head. “No, Mama,” she whispered back, “by the door they got a box with a sign that says, ‘For the Sick.'”