CHURCH JOKES YOU CAN’T TELL IN CHURCH (IV)

(Okay.  If you laugh at this one, you need to repent!)

The old pastor was counseling perspective converts to his church, three married couples.  At the end of the process, they came to the test of commitment.

“You’ve all demonstrated a sincere desire to follow Christ and be a part of our faith community,” he said, “and we now come to the test of your commitment.  For you nice folx, we are asking that you abstain from sexual intimacy in prayer for three months.  At the end of this season of testing, we will meet again to determine your candidacy for membership in our assembly.”

Three months later, the three couples returned to the pastor’s office.  The pastor asked each couple to report on their test of commitment.  He turned first to the elderly couple and asked, “Three months with no sex.  How did you manage?”

The old man confidently answered, “Well, pastor, to be honest, my wife and I may be old, but we enjoy a vigorous sex life, and this was a real sacrifice, a true test of commitment.  But we are mature people, self-disciplined, and we were quite capable of meeting the challenge.  We successfully abstained.”

The pastor responded, “That’s wonderful, I want to formally welcome you into our flock.”

Turning to the middle-aged couple, the pastor asked, “Three months with no sex.  How did you folx manage?”

The middle-aged husband answered, “Well, pastor, this was truly a challenging test for us.  Three months proved to be a long time.  Two months in and it was one of the biggest challenges of our married life.  My wife and I also enjoy a rigorous sex life,” he said as he nodded to the elder couple, “but in the end we made it.  In fact, when we are done here, I have a date with my wife!”

Chuckling, the pastor responded, “That’s great! I want to formally welcome you into our flock.”

Finally, turning to the young couple, the pastor asked, “Three months with no sex.  How did you young people manage it?”

The young husband, looking at the floor in shame, said, “Oh… Pastor.  This was the toughest thing I ever did in my life.  I almost couldn’t believe we made it the first month.  By the second month, we thought the test was unbearable, but we managed.  But it was one day into the third month when my wife accidentally dropped a head of lettuce on the floor.  When she bent over to pick it up and I saw that, I could not help myself.  Really, Pastor, I had to have it right then and there.”

The pastor shaking his head at this news said, “Well, I am terribly sorry to hear that son.  It means you are not welcome in our church.”

The young man replied, “Yeah.  We understand, Pastor.  We aren’t welcome down at Safeway anymore either.”

2 comments

  1. Anonymous · 20 Days Ago

    Too funny. Repent I must.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. harolene · 20 Days Ago

    Hysterical ‼️

    Like

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