Hmmm… That sounds threatening.  “We”?  As in there’s more than one of you interested in me?  I am having trouble believing that.  Not actually sure, but when coming from someone anonymous on the internet, and that is all the context, threat is the first option to consider, followed immediately by self-assessing for paranoia.

Of course, it isn’t paranoia if they really are out to get you.

Ahhh!  And now, just that fast, we are in full-blown CRAZY mode.

Yup!  Welcome to my world.

I am always just two steps from psychosis, delusions, and beliefs about God (rarely hallucinations, but I have a funny pot-smoking story from my youth which tempers that observation – more on that another time).  

I count myself among the sane, but just barely, and anyway, all the inmates say their sane.  If I had got this message off the TV, then I would be just one step from nuts.  As it is, three fourths of the time, I pick up these signals just from my fantasy life.  However, you gotta flex that fantasy muscle so you can think your way through these mind traps.  After all, like Dave Mustaine said, “If I know I’m going crazy, I must not be insane.”

Amen to that!

All of which leads me back to God.  A word of theology from the nut hut.  This might involve a bit of biblical theology at some point, but it’s not based there.  This is more philosophical theology filtered through shallowly subjective experience.  (Let that bake your noodle.)  It’s more Fight Club meets Matrix (oops, I just broke two rules and attracted attention from the Smith units.).

It’s like I always tell the psych patients, “Frankly speaking, it was being frank with others that got me in here to begin with….”

Words to live by!

But for some real insight, I try to tell people that you gotta know who you can trust.  Trust is so important in God’s good world, and you seriously gotta know who you can trust.  And that is true as can be!  Right as rain it is!!!  But I find it’s like so much else you can say in today’s world, once you’ve said it all, you’ve said nothing.  

The only thing I can find of substance is LOVE.  True LOVE, though, is not found in fallen people, it’s found in fantasy and/or faith.  But nowhere else.  

Are you still with me?  Of course, you are.  Even if you are only a reader in my mind.  Thanx for listening.  It’s lonely without you.

Hey, I’m not a psych patient, but I play one in my mind.

Look.  I didn’t take a major in English or poetry or drama.  Just the required course work, but I find, out of all the required coursework which wasn’t part of my major, the English Department helped my major the most.  I only mention that to justify the fact that I never actually read George Bernard Shaw’s play about Joan of Arc, but I did read Walter Wink’s discussion of a particular scene in it.

And I gotta say, Wink’s work is simply indispensable to modern theology, especially biblical/Christian theology.  But as a conservative Bible student, I love his work on one page only to hate it on the next, and it keeps toggling back and forth like that causing me to writhe in pain and ecstasy unparalleled anywhere else except for Queensrÿche’s Operation Mindcrime album.  (Let that bake your noodle.)

Anyway, Wink, describing Shaw, describing Arc (Can I call her Arc, or should I say Ms. Arc?), depicts a scene at her trial where she is interrogated by the prosecution.  The prosecutor says something like: You say God talks to you.  She responds with: Yes, God talks to me.  He counters with: That is just your imagination.  She shuts him down claiming: Yes.  That’s how God talks to me.


Suck on that!  And let it bake your ever-loving noodle!

So, anyway, I am being watched.  

Well, DUH!  Between Alan Parson’s Eye In the Sky, Judas Priest’s Electric Eye, and Rockwell (whoever that is), I always FEEL like somebody’s watching me!

I try to purposely leave my phone outside the bathroom (or deep in my pocket) all the time because I know that between the FBI and the NSA, that little camera is always potentially rolling, and some stuff is just too personal!  I just imagine some lacky in the back office switching between his hunt for terrorists and internet porn, and suddenly rolling across me using the bathroom and then making sport of me without my ever knowing it, except that I am paranoid (unless they are really doing that).

Ha!  And I am nuts because I believe in God!

Look at you!

Are you still reading this?

I hate to break it to you, but you are just a figment of my imagination.  

Ha!  Joke’s on you!

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